Self-Love

The radical act of choosing yourself flaws and all!

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Hey cousins, hey, you're listening to Den of Queens. I'm your host, Crystal, the One, Not the Two. Self-love is a state of appreciation, acceptance, and high regard for oneself that grows from actions, supporting physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. I wholeheartedly believe that self-love begins with mindfulness. Staying aware of your thoughts and feelings in the moment to act based on what you truly need. If you feel stressed or overwhelmed, there is absolutely nothing wrong with stepping away for an hour or so. Even if it's just a trip to the car to sit and listen to music and scream. Whatever you have to do to recenter yourself. Prioritize your needs, attend to your own well-being rather than sacrificing to please others. You can't pour into your family or friends from an empty cup. Self-compassion is a big one. Sometimes we can be our own worst critics, and then we go out into the world, and somehow the opinions of others that really have no idea what's really going on have formed their own thoughts. Speak to yourself kindly in a forgiving voice, especially during difficult times. Self-acceptance. Unconditionally embrace all the parts of yourself: the ugly, the beautiful, the weak, the strong. All steps to mental growth. We are perfectly imperfect. Your value is not based on your achievements. Oh, and don't forget about setting those boundaries. Protect your peace by saying no to relationships and any activities that disrupt that peace. I've been really big lately about protecting my peace, and I'm not people pleasing anymore. If you can't properly care for yourself, you can't expect anyone else to properly care for you. You have to show love to your body, mind, and soul. This all strengthens the foundation of your mental health, emotional health that will make all of your relationships stronger. All my life I thought that I loved myself, but I realized years ago that at the time I did not treat myself as if I did. Everyone around me had complete control over my emotions and my mind. Easily angered, fighting any and everyone, because I was doing everything for everyone but myself. I didn't have control over my emotions. What do they say? Hurt people, hurt people. I was literally hurting myself because I was hurt and broken, broken from unhealed trauma as a child that was overlooked, that caused more trauma and guilt. I had to get to a point where I understood what happened to me when I was a child was a loss that I could not control, that was much bigger than me. I had to stop and forgive myself for all that I had allowed to happen to me. Yes, allowed. Because I had made each and every decision that had led me to the place where I was full of guilt, self-doubt, regret, and pain. Once I started giving myself the same compassion I gave others, I was able to heal myself. I learned to love all of me. I also stopped giving people so much power over me by not allowing them access to my spirit. All these things that I have talked about have brought me so much growth and peace. When you show up for yourself, you show up better for the people you love. So as this episode ends, make sure you are loving on yourself more, being more mindful of what you need. Prioritize yourself. Make sure you show yourself compassion for errors you have made and will make, and accept who you are and how far you've come. And as always, thank you for listening to Den of Queens. Please like and share so you can catch all future episodes of your new favorite podcast.